Searching For Dreams
by Phoenixica24
Summary: Someone new falls down the rabbit-hole, on purpose! Looking to escape the cruelties of her world, looking for friendship and love, she finds more than she ever expected! Tarrant/OC, all rights belong to their respectful owners and not me! -I wish!- Review please and let me know if it's worth continuing! :D
1. Chapter 1: Who Am I?

**A/N: A story beginning I found buried in my saved files recently. Review and tell me if it's worth continuing please! :D Thanks to my beta Azzie(Inkfire) for going over this and my many other summer-inspired or recently-found chapters! :D  
**

Searching For Dreams:

Chapter One: Who Am I?

A harsh buzzing broke the peaceful silence. A teenage girl blearily opened her eyes and turned off her alarm. _Just five more seconds..._ She stretched luxuriously, flexing her entire body under the covers before sitting up and starting to make her bed and get dressed. She popped out her retainer and grabbed some ponytail holders, a necklace, and a watch from her bedside table before heading across the hall to the bathroom.

Her mind was perfectly blank until she splashed freezing water across her face. Then a mental to-do list started running. _Algebra homework...not like there's a point, seeing as I'm failing...start before I leave, maybe before Spanish if I go early...during SLC...band tonight, need to get food before I leave, never enough, why can't the bitch understand I'm running and I need to eat?_

These thoughts continued as she went downstairs and quickly ate her tiny breakfast, set out by her mother the night before.

_They're so controlling...I can't do this, I can't do that. Well, fuck that, people, I'm a living human being! I have a life too!_

The red-haired girl went upstairs to brush her teeth and hopefully start the dreaded Algebra assignment. _Need to meet up for the Chem project and the English leadership...don't have time...why can't people understand there's a difference between 'busy' to sound cool and literally busy! Doing homework at 6:30 am is not 'busy' to be cool!_

She reached out and grabbed her mp3 player, quickly putting in her headphones. Burying herself in a mix of Algebra and music until she looked up at 6:40 and went downstairs to get all her stuff.

Walking out the door felt amazing. The cool air slapped her face and woke her up instantly.

_ Autumn Grace..._ she thought ironically. Her name certainly reflected her personality. She'd been born in early October, and autumn had always been her favorite season.

Music ran through her head, keeping her calm and sane until she had her headphones pulled out by her boyfriend.

"Hey," he murmured.

Autumn leaned back against him. "Hey." she replied easily, turning her head to kiss him quickly. She twisted free of his arms and began sorting through her things.

He leaned against the locker next to hers and studied her face for a moment. "You know, Autumn...I'm getting this feeling..."

Her heart almost stopped, but she looked up calmly. "What?" Normally there would've been an easy quip at the end, but she was too scared. _Not again...not now!_

"Maybe we're not working out. We only see each other at school, and then you're always 'no don't touch me, don't kiss me' and even when we are alone you're hesitant, like you don't want to be with me."

"So you're leaving because I can't get time to myself in my schedule yet somehow manage half an hour with you a week, at least?" she snapped. Fighting back tears with anger.

"Autumn, hun, I just..." he looked at her with those goddamned beautiful, pleading eyes...

"Fine. No, I get it. It's fine." she said quickly, harshly, and coldly. Standing, she swung her bag over her shoulder, turned, and left.

Instead of going to her first-hour Spanish class, she went to the bathroom, locked herself in a stall, and cried.

_I always try so hard to be what others want me to be...is that so bad?Bad because I always fail, and it hurts like hell, but why can't I just be me?_

She stared blankly at the stall door.

_Who am I, anyway? Chore-doer for my parents, angel-daughter gone bad, a sex toy for any number of guys who played with my emotions and helped make me this screwed up...I swear to God __I'm going mad!_

As the tears faded and dried up, she noticed writing on the side of the stall.

'Door to Narnia'.

_Narnia...a dream world...a wonderland of amazing things...like Wonderland. Mad people are sane there, and sane people are mad. Maybe I should go there._ She laughed bitterly. _Except it doesn't exist. Fairy tales...writing, stories, are the only way out for me._

Autumn wandered through the rest of her classes in a dreamy haze. Thoughts whirled through her head, not making any sense at all.

_What if it is real? What if I went? To Wonderland?Impossible!_ She scolded herself mentally. _What has this boy done to you?_ Of course that thought brought on the tears again.

She ended up skipping cross country practice and wandering downtown to the river. She ran along the river, hard. Pushing herself until she was flying down the trail, flashing by the bikers and joggers who looked at her sympathetically but said nothing, as the social code implied was proper.

She ignored their looks of pity, knowing she was a mess with tears all over her red face, her hair wet and windswept, sweat running down her body, and her entire body shaking.

_If only...Wonderland was real...I could go there..._

Determination hardened her gaze, and she stared down into the water of the river, flowing quietly past.

_I will go to Wonderland. Now._


	2. Chapter 2: Packing

**A/N: Dedicated to my beta and sole reviewer Azzie(Inkfire)! Thanks! :D  
**

Searching for Dreams:

Chapter Two: Packing:

Autumn ran home quickly, slipping inside before her parents noticed she'd skipped practice and bolting up the stairs. She tiptoed into her room and carefully closed the door. That done, she turned to face her room-containing her life-and took a deep breath.

_Time to move this puppy._

First things first. She counted out how much money she had, and looked into pricing for plane tickets to England. At the same time, she looked up where exactly in England it was said Alice-and the rabbit-hole-had lived. Finding her results, she looked up the nearest airport and possible means of transportation to the area itself. Once a grand mansion, most of the grounds had long since been converted to parking lots. However, the small park nearby looked promising. At least it did on Google Earth.

Thanks to her father's inability to trust her to go shopping with friends, she had quite a stash of cash saved up. Counting everything up, she figured she could do it, if she was careful and went low-class with only the bare essentials.

After researching times and making the necessary reservations, she gathered up everything from her room that she wanted to take with her. There wasn't much. MP3, camera, chargers, laptop, notebooks and pens to write with, drawing tablet and cord, running clothes, some normal ones, and a dress that might help her fit in with the people in Wonderland if she actually managed to get there.

Once her parents were asleep, she tiptoed out of her room and downstairs. She gathered a few things like food and a little extra cash from the kitchen before going to the basement. Squirming back into the crawlspace, she searched with her flashlight until she found the boxes marked with her and her mother's names. Pulling them out, she sorted through them, what she could and couldn't take, what she wanted to take, and from there put into her luggage first what she needed, then what she wanted in order from most to least important. Whatever didn't fit, she packed back into the boxes, which she placed carefully back in their original positions.

Getting out of the house posed a bit of a bigger problem. She went and stood on the porch with a phone and called for a taxi, praying her parents stayed asleep. The driver asked few questions, simply helping her with her bags and setting out for the airport.

_Well, that was easy._

Autumn knew it had only been this easy because people in this society were scared. Too scared to ask questions, afraid of the answers they might get. It was a horrible place to live in, yet it seemed that no one dreamed of anything better.

_Except me. Why me? Why only me?_

To that, she had no answer. Maybe it was waiting for her in Wonderland.


	3. Chapter 3: Down the RabbitHole

**A/N: Thanks to Ranguvar27 for beta'ing and feedback! :D**

Searching for Dreams:

Chapter Three: Down the Rabbit-Hole:

Sunlight beat down on the pavement, heat radiating into Autumn's face-just like back home. _Is there no escape to this heat?_ The teenage girl wandered through the parking lot, trying to stay out of sight. She'd learned long ago that if she stayed quiet and pretended she knew exactly what she was doing, had a purpose, so to speak, and wasn't afraid of being seen or caught, that people were a lot less likely to challenge her right to be there doing whatever she was doing.

Turning the map of the grounds in her hands, she headed for the park she'd seen on Google Earth. _What would the rabbit-hole look like now? Or did it disappear when we began to rely on technology instead of dreams? No, there must be more people like Alice around somewhere, wouldn't the rabbit-hole stay open for them?_

And then the thought: _I'm insane._ For the first time, she fully realized what she'd done. Left home, left her life, to go on a wild-goose chase. _Well, no turning back now._ She had nothing else to do but either find the rabbit-hole or keep searching till she came up with something else. _Do crazy people wonder if they're crazy?_

Autumn finally decided to put her search on hold and found a tree to sit under. Lying back on the grass, she stared at the sky. _I am so totally screwed._ Tears filled her eyes as she remembered her team. Maybe in the heat of the moment this had seemed like a good idea, but now she remembered the good parts of life. A life she'd left behind. She blew a few strands of red-gold hair out of her face and idly listened to the dogs barking. Until she realized they were coming closer.

Jumping up, she looked around until she saw huge German Shepherds dodging between the trees ahead of her. She could hear men yelling behind them. "Trespasser!" _Really? There weren't any 'Private Property' signs! Oh, well. This is England, after all, not America. Not home._ She turned and ran, not knowing what else to do. It was always her solution. Maybe not the best, but she had yet to learn anything better.

A huge tree stump loomed in front of her as she looked back. The dogs were catching up, and suddenly her foot caught on a root and she fell facefirst over the stump, plunging headlong into a hole on the other side. _Wait...a hole?_ Autumn screamed as she fell, and kept screaming as she kept falling. _Oh God, this isn't real, this isn't happening, shouldn't there be a rabbit involved somewhere?_ A piano flew by her face, and she covered her eyes. _I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!_ She bounced off a bed, arms flailing wildly as she kicked out, trying to land on her feet when she slammed into...a floor? No, it was a ceiling, but why wasn't she falling to the floor?

Autumn sat there for a moment, waiting to fall like Alice had in the movie, but she didn't. _What's up with that?_ She supposed her journey was already quite a bit different from Alice's, and so she shouldn't expect anything. _But then what am I supposed to do?_

She tried moving, and then fell and hit her head on the floor. _So far, this is NOT going well._ She sighed. _I got myself into this...no one around, even, so I really have to get myself out! What's next?_ Thinking back, she found she couldn't remember. _Just great!_

Autumn looked around curiously. The room appeared mostly white, with a few black accents. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, and the tiled floor shone under the lights. A small black ornate table stood nearby with a little cake and a vial of liquid on it. _Oh, right...which one's which, again?_ _Let's see...food makes you grow, normally, but liquid doesn't exactly make you shrink. Doesn't make you grow too much, either. I'll try the liquid._ She could always just reverse the condition if she was wrong. Thinking ahead for once, she set the cake on her bandanna on the ground. _Most of my stuff's up there still...Oh, well. Can't be helped._ Twisting the top, she opened the vial and took a tiny sip, not too eager to discover it was poison or something. To her relief, she began to shrink rather rapidly. She stopped at about mid-table height, and drank a little more, easing herself down until she couldn't hold the vial anymore. It was mostly empty now.

Now that she was down to size, she figured if the door to get out wasn't big enough to be seen, she might as well stay small since the door probably would be as well. She walked around, examining everything. Pulling aside a curtain that really had no reason to be there-other than hiding a tiny little door-she retrieved the key from beside the cake and pondered the cake for a moment. Breaking off a bit, she wasted a good ten minutes wrapping it in her bandanna and dragging everything through the door.

By the time she shoved everything through, now grateful that very few of her belongings had come along for the ride, also thankful that they were the small ones, she was exhausted. She nibbled on her piece of cake until she grew back to her natural size, and when she felt right, picked up her bag and bandanna and set out.

The world presented itself well, full of bright, vivid colors and new sounds and smells. Autumn paused beside a field of flowers, which murmured amongst themselves, too lost in their own vanity to acknowledge her. She stalked off in a huff. _I'll get directions from someone else!_

She wandered aimlessly until the sky grew dark, then started panicking. She had nowhere to stay, nowhere to go, and no clue as to what to do. She found a tree with a hole in the trunk and curled up inside, watching the forest grow dark around her and shaking slightly in fear. She snacked on a granola bar and put her headphones in, now extremely grateful for her luck. _I knew bringing this along while I looked was a good plan!_

Eventually the music helped her relax enough that she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4: Wonderland

**A/N: I now have a plan for updating and being organized-all my files are organized by fandom, then by story, and I'm doing plot outlines for everything now. It's not all completed, but it's a work in progress and I wanted to get stuff out there. So, without further ado,**

**-Thanks to my beta Azzie (Inkfire) and anyone who still reads this poor neglected little story that would much appreciate reviews ;)-**

Chapter Four: Wonderland:

Autumn awoke to birds singing, much like she used to at home, except the songs and voices were different. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes blearily and looked around. Golden sunlight filtered through the emerald roof above her head, turning everything into brilliant, vibrant hues of yellow, green, and brown. Flowers bloomed around her in vivid shades of blue, purple, red, and white. She rose shakily and reached out a hand to gently touch the nearest tree trunk. It was rough against her fingertips. Inhaling deeply, she could smell the flowers and clean, fresh air. The music of the birds intermingled with that of running water nearby. She gathered her things and made her way slowly through the forest until she found the happy little stream.

The teen knelt carefully on a rock near the shore and cupped her hands, drinking her fill of the sweet, cold water. That taken care of, she sat back on her heels and listened to her stomach growl for a moment. She had a few granola bars with her, but not enough to last for long, especially not with her athletic metabolism. She had to find a way to get food.

Autumn blinked as the harsh reality caught up to her. She was alone, in a strange place, she no longer dared think of it as a separate world, she had little food, and no idea what was safe to eat and what wasn't. She didn't know where she was or who else was here.

_Well. Sitting here isn't going to help me any._ She thought, standing carefully. She dared not risk losing her only source of water, so she followed the spring upstream until she found a clearing ringed with bushes that were full of fruit of some kind. Autumn paused in the shade at the edge, scanning the area for any living creatures. Her eyes widened when she heard a voice muttering to itself and she ducked behind a tree quickly. Peering out from behind a nearby bush, she waited until the owner of the voice appeared.

"Ungrateful they are, ungrateful they aren't. Making me cook everything, all the time, do this, make that, too much salt, needs more salt, why can't they make sense? They're all mad, mad, madder than me, oh, how can that be? Not only that, they're thieves, the lot of them, they took my spoon and won't give it back!"

_Taking a spoon? What is going on?_ Autumn scanned the clearing again until she spotted what looked like a rabbit of some sort picking berries and throwing them at the basket he'd set nearby. One of the berries missed and hit the bush in front of her. Autumn ducked back behind the tree and held her breath as the rabbit came closer. Not only could he talk, but he sounded insane. Best to stay away from this one.

But whatever fate ruled this place had a different plan in mind. The rabbit crawled under the bush to fetch his berry, only to end up sitting on Autumn's hand. He looked down, then his eyes wandered up her arm to her face.

"Well. Lookee what we have here!" he laughed maniacally. "Who're you, young missy?"

"My name is Autumn." she told him uncertainly. Something told her not to lie.

"Are yeh lost?" he asked, looking around.

"A bit." she admitted, embarrassed.

"Well, c'mon then. There's food back there." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, and she just nodded.

_Everyone's mad here...but it's probably best if I play along so they don't decide that I'm a threat. _She thought carefully. She helped the Hare pick berries after he remembered to introduce himself, and once they had filled his basket, she followed him silently out into the open.

A magnificent white palace stood on the sweeping plains before them, and Autumn blinked in shock. It was beautiful, full off shining surfaces, sparkling fountains, and neat emerald plant life.

The March Hare was already halfway down to the plains by the time Autumn was done drinking in the scene, so she tore her gaze away and hurried after him. She ran past talking flowers, bees, and other insects and animals that conversed with each other as though it were a normal, everyday occurrence. There were a few whose abilities were so strange that Autumn had to turn and stare for a moment before chasing off after the Hare again.

Everything was so strange, but beautiful. So amazing and wondrous. _This really is Wonderland_. Autumn realized suddenly, and her heart felt lighter than she could ever remember feeling before.


End file.
